Episode 1….

Hopefully none of you are feeling the repercussions of your drink of choice from last night, though I trust you all enjoyed a few glasses in moderation — a word that clearly wasn’t in jameson-on-the-rocks-Tara’s vocabulary. Did anyone else notice her bio detailed her as a “Sports Fishing Enthusiast?”

A couple glasses of wine and a word doc full of notes later, after watching the first episode I’ve come to the conclusion that the producers put together some of the most bat shit crazy girls they could find for (probably) one of the most real guys they’ve had as the Bachelor since Sean. If only I had made it to auditions in Kansas City….

First…

THE STANDINGS, 1/6/15:

1. Kari R., 190 Points
2. Hailee S., 185 Points
3. Ashley V., 180 Points
4. Tied: at 175 Points:
– Amanda C.
– Candice R.
– Ashley P.
– Steph Z.
5. Tied: at 170 Points:
– Beth M.
– Donnie F.
6. Amanda A, 165 Points
7. Kristin R., 160 Points
8. Tied at 155:
– Brittany B.
– Raoni K.
– Meg B.
9. Kaitlan W., 130 Points

Don’t forget, next week you can replace 3 of your 5 picks with new girls. (If after the first episode, 4 out of your 5 picks get sent home, you still can only choose 3 new picks.) I’ll prompt you guys next Monday about it !

Click here –> BachFantasy <– to see how the scores broke down individually, and you can scroll down to see the points tallied.

Chris Soules and Britt Nilsson at The Bachelor Season 19 Premiere Cocktail Party
Britt was the first to get out of the limo, and she wrapped Prince Farming in an embrace, panting and seemingly desperate. It seemed to work, and she later grew on me and eventually received the first impression rose and received the first make-out session.

Other stand out moments in the episode included:

Ashley S. going on and on about an onion — how can I not find a picture of this?! — and then offering a yellow “rose” to Brittany, the WWE Diva fighter to steal Chris away. She has to be one of the crazies producers tell him to keep for ratings, right?

Carly's questionable entrance

“What’s she singing?” says one contestant to Kaitlyn while watching Carly step out of the limo wearing a dress that makes her look like a pink, sparkly cupcake and singing.  Kaitlyn snarkily responds with, “I don’t know, but I think she’s getting eliminated.” … yet we will see Carly another week. Kaitlyn’s comments and crude jokes are easily going to make her one of the most loved AND most hated contestants.

Amanda's crazy eyes

..and who could forget crazy Amanda the ballet teacher with her crazy, googly eyes? Byeeee.

Week 1 Wildcard Points:
First Gal to Make a Pun About Farming won 20 points. And that was…Kaitlyn.

  • Alissa: 30 points
    • Giving Chris a gift (a seatbelt) (5 points)
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
  • Amanda: 5 points
    • Gives a gift (note) (5 points)
    • Note: Our rule for earning points for crying on camera is that we have to see moisture fall. Only saw crocodile tears in Amanda’s large peepers. 
  • Amber: 25 points
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
  • Ashley I.: 25 points
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
  • Ashley S.: 40 points
    • Giving Chris a gift (a penny) (5 points)
    • Interrupting someone’s one-on-one time (5 points)
    • Using the phrase “steal Chris away” during said interruption (5 points)
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (by some miracle) (25 points)
  • Becca: 25 points
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
  • Bo: 10 points
    • Interrupting someone’s one-on-one time (5 points)
    • Using the phrase “steal Chris away” during said interruption (5 points)
  • Britt (50 points)
    • Giving Chris a gift (“free hug” note) (5 points)
    • Getting the First Impression Rose (35 points)
    • Kissing Chris on the lips (10 points)
  • Brittany: 0 points
  • Carly: 30 points
    • Singing for Chris (5 points)
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
  • Jade: 25 points
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
  • Jillian: 30 points
    • Interrupting someone’s one-on-one time (5 points)
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
  • Jordan: 35 points
    • Giving Chris a gift (mini-whiskey bottles) (5 points)
    • Interrupting someone’s one-on-one time (5 points)
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
  • Juelia: 35 points
    • Interrupting someone’s one-on-one time (5 points)
    • Using the phrase “steal Chris away” during said interruption (5 points)
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
  • Kaitlyn: 45 points
    • Wildcard Points Winner: First Gal to Make a Pun About Farming (20 points)
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
    • Note: We so badly wanted to give her points for dancing with Chris, but we previously specified it had to be at a concert. 
  • Kara: 25 points
    • Crying on camera (25 points)
  • Kelsey: 45 points
    • Talking about an ex-husband (10 points)
    • Mentioning a deceased loved one (10 points)
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
  • Kimberly: 0 points (but might be reprising her role next week…)
    • Note: Kimberly doesn’t get points for interrupting or for saying “steal Chris away” because those rules only apply during one-on-one time
  • Mackenzie: 30 points
    • Talking about her kid (5 points)
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
  • Megan: 30 points
    • Interrupting someone’s one-on-one time (5 points)
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
  • Michelle: 5 points
    • Talking about her kid(s) (5 points)
  • Nicole: 0 points
  • Nikki: 30 points
    • Giving Chris a gift (a heart-shaped rock) (5 points)
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
  • Reegan: 0 points
  • Samantha: 25 points
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
  • Tandra: 25 points
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
  • Tara (Hammertime): 40 points
    • Appearing visibly drunk (15 points)
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
  • Tracy: 30 points
    • Giving Chris a gift (the note from her students) (5 points)
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
  • Trina: 25 points
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)
  • Whitney: 25 points
    • Getting the rose to stay another week (25 points)

Until next week…

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